Good job

I have a good job. I work with nice people - people I admire, people I enjoy being around. I get to stretch my capacity to work hard to its absolute limit every day. Every day I get tired by the end of my ten hours. Almost every day...sometimes several times a day...someone tells me, "Thank you, thank you. God bless you, baby." That's just for doing my job and helping someone's pain go away for a bit or getting them the answer they need. Once in a while someone dresses me down for doing my job...but when so many folks are nice to me, I know it's just that person's way of relating to the world. It doesn't bother me nearly as much as if it was all abuse all the time.

And I get to see so many different people, and listen to every single one of their hearts. Isn't that amazing? I get to say to everyone: Okay, now I'm going to listen to your heart. Then I place my stethoscope snugly but gently against their skin, moving it to my four listening areas, and I hear their discreet, dutiful heart. No matter how gnarly a living person is on the outside, they have a clean, fascinating heartbeat.

Sometimes a person in pain is crying, with tears just squeezing out of their eyes uncontrollably. Sometimes a person who's pretty much okay will demand and demand an inappropriate intervention: "Give me something to drink right f*&%#ing now or I am taking all this wires and  S^$* off me and walking out of here." (We can't let you eat right now because there's a substantial chance you'll need surgery tonight. How about some ice chips and more IV fluids?) Or: "If my CT scan doesn't show anything bad, will you still give me some percocets?" (We can't send home anyone with narcotic pain medicines if we aren't absolutely sure they need them. It's not in our patients' best interest.) But there are a lot more, "Thank you all so much for what you do," and "Thank you, ma'am," and "I appreciate it, doc," than anything else. It surprises me every time!

Meanwhile, everything is so big. The population we see at our hospital...huge. The ambulances making crooked spokes out from the hub of Our Hospital...huge distances traveled, so many trips. So much goes in the trash, so much gets used, so many pixels sporting so much new information. My brain hurts at the end of the day. That's 3/4 of the tired feeling. One thing is sure - the more I enjoy a thing the better I can learn it. So I am thankful to enjoy this.