Monday, November 24, 2008

Pre-Studying

Okay, so I confess I'm concerned I won't be as capable as other medical students, so I'm introducing myself to some of the texts before school rolls around. Today I started Essential Clinical Anatomy and I love it! I also brushed up on animal phys respiration. I remember learning about gill countercurrent systems and about bird respiration, but it's super fun learning that stuff again. Of course, I'll soon have to zero in on humans, forsaking all others, but I'm indulging this broad look at animal phys, as I believe that comparison deepens understanding. Animal phys also has a problem-based approach and then it meticulously chronicles all the solutions animals have evolved to solve problems.

A word here. I am Christian, and I think with my entire brain that evolution is the soundest model we have for how life came to occupy the niches we see and for explaining the relative fitness of these organisms to their habitats, etc. (BTW, I'm sure I'm dogging several ecological terms here.) I also believe God does it...and that He is outside time and far far bigger than human brains. I will probably offend some Christians by agreeing with the scientific community but frustrate lots of scientists with my...belief. Belief that God is good, that life is an outpouring of creativity. I imagine the universe in slo mo (in the limited way in which my brain can comprehend). If you think about the coolest time lapse photography you've ever seen of an acacia blooming or a landscape changing through the seasons. I don't know about you, but I respond to these little packaged shifts in perspective with a thrill that gives me goosebumps. Just imagine this blooming, growing, withering, then add all the ridiculous complexity of every corner of the earth, sky, and ocean, then make it microscopic, then make it huge (like a whole biome) and you'll blow your own mind. How beautiful! How amazing! How alive!

"Praise God!" is my personal response. Gratitude and praise, rendered to a God whose mind is unfathomable and who I'm certain is burping out creative bubbles all over.

And I'm sure I haven't satisfied Dr. Heideman (not that he'd ever need satisfying, such a kind and generous soul is he), whose class showed beyond logical doubt that organisms may seem to be perfectly suited, but are actually just doing well enough to get by...squeak by in some cases. And they were never "perfectly" evolved, even in the most stable of situations, though they may seem to be perfect. All I have to say is...WIP: work in progress for its own glory, sucka. Hats off to Dr. Heideman for approaching these puzzles with genuine curiosity.

Obviously, logic butts heads with my clinging to God's creative hand: Does the ebb and flow of species mean that God sees the inevitable death that clears the palette as neutral? All I have to say is that no question can rock the boat of God's love and unfailing compassion, His comfort to those that cry out for help or forgiveness. Does my brain give up? Sort of. I no longer think all things have an explanation, let alone a neat explanation. Some don't even have an explanation that fits with two realities I see. The connections are hidden. All these questions resist solid answers. But they're titillating, profound surprises we'll get in heaven. Like an impressionist painting or a poem by Rumi, reality isn't nailed down. Even science eventually gets to this point (see: Copenhagen Interpretation). Let it be loose. So I say to the artists among you, doesn't this ring true to you? That resonance ceases when you clamp it down? I don't know. But I do see it happening in my own life - I mean I witness the buzzkill in my own irritated or controlling actions - and then I know more than ever that God doesn't give all the answers or make all the decisions; it can be loose.

Anyway, I need to get to work.

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