Saturday, December 6, 2008

"I'm a Magic Pink-Wing Black/White Bird"

Vivi said it. She and Mazie are playing a game they call "Firebird." Firebird apparently involves - most importantly - wearing skirts around your neck and trading off Mommy/Baby roles. There is a disjointed narrative involved, as well as some nesting and (increasingly) some jumping.

It's noon and we have just finished second breakfast. First breakfast was cut short at 9 a.m. when we realized after producing just one pancake man per kid that our town's Christmas parade was about to start a few streets over. So we bundled up with hoods protruding from jackets like homeless people and went out to see the procession of animal rescue organizations, local businesses, high school bands, auto enthusiasts, and various community services parade down the street. Vivian, Richie, and I waved and called "Merry Christmas" to everybody. Mazie mainly hid. I felt like a doof after calling "Merry Christmas" to the one person with a Channukkah Dog (draped in a blue felt blanket emblazoned with an enormous Star of David). As soon as she passed, I thought "Doh!" with my own hearty words still ringing in my ears. I felt very rude. The lady was nice enough to reply with "Merry Christmas to you, too."

One of the first parade entrants was a navy medic van bedecked with wreaths and merry wishes. When it went past, I thought of the profound privilege it is to care for someone's health, how I have an opportunity to learn the skills and have the privilege, and I promptly started crying. It's still hitting me in waves that I have a very good shot at becoming a doctor. I see this role as fairly sacred. Ordinary, yes, but intensely personal. There's a staggering amount of responsibility in this role. I feel honored and humbled by its prospect. Undoubtedly, the next four years will see my perspective shift from that of a patient - outside the system - to that of the caregiver - inside the system. In some ways I look forward to that shift; in other ways I don't think I'll ever fully reside in the medical world. I'm too many portions Mommy for that to happen.

So we came back home and finished an expanded version of breakfast, complete with orange juice, eggs and bacon (yum!). And now the game of Firebird has expanded to include dragging a baby doll by a ribbon attached to her neck on one end and a magic wand on the other. Mazie just declared, "Vivi, now you have to be the Gozzle-ing and this is the part when I have to teach you to follow me. When I call, 'Come on! Fuzzy! Follow!' (in falsetto) you have to follow me." And Vivi's following as instructed. Fun times.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

my friend, I'm just going to comment on this post, but in response to everything leading up to it, too...
you're awesome, I love you, and the post about sharing at church re: med school made me cry. I'm still holding out hope that you'll be able to stay in the area, of course! Thanks for sharing your thoughts here - what an enjoyable read.

Sarah

Brandi Gunn said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Sarah. I love you, too! But you already know that because I tell you all about it every time I've been drinking.